Spanish government admits it can't defend against zombie apocalypse

The Spanish government admits it would struggle to deal with a dawn of the dead

The Spanish government admits it would struggle to deal with a dawn of the dead

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

The Spanish government has said it is incapable of defending the country against a zombie apocalypse, in what must go down as one of the most bizarre and pointless exchanges in political history.

The government said it hasn't formulated any concrete plans to deal with a dawn of the dead - partly because, it says, it doubts that there'd ever be enough zombies to actually trigger an apocalypse.

The somewhat flippant remarks were made in response to an equally flippant question in the Spanish Congress by senator Carles Mulet, who had asked the government what sort of plans it had in place to deal with a mass uprising from beyond the grave, according to La Vanguardia.

Mulet asked the question as a form of protest at what he considered the "poor quality" of written responses given by the Spanish government to its opposition in the Senate. 

In responding to the question, the government reverted to Spain's Royal Academy dictionary to search for the definition of the words "zombie" and "apocalypse."For the latter, it found two definitions: "end of the world" and "catastrophic situation."

The government said that, while there are plans in place to deal with a catrastrophic situation, there is little point putting plans in place for the end of the world, as such an event is unlikely to ever actually occur.

The government also said it had no specific contingency plans against zombies, a group defined in the dictionary as either "people who are supposedly dead and then reanimated through art of witchcraft" or "brainless [people] who behave like a robot."

The executive claimed it was unlikely that witchraft was capable of reanimating the dead, and doubted that a group of braindead people could actually create an apocalypse, "no matter how many of them there are."

Mulet has since issued a response, suggesting that while the government is able to provide full, timely responses to nonsense questions, its response is "late and bad" when dealing with anything that actually matters.