After Bowling Green Massacre claim, here’s some other fake news for Kellyanne Conway to invent

Friday, February 3, 2017

This article was originally taken from The Jon Holmes show, which is live on talkRADIO from Monday to Friday between 1 and 4pm.

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Whatever you think of the news, one point is clear and irrefutable: there's quite a lot of it.

And when you go back through the annals of history, there's loads of news flying around. Literally dozens, maybe scores, of news stories you could choose if you wanted to make a political point. The moon landing, JFK's assassination, Australia winning the eurovision song contests... that's three genuine news stories right there, and we weren't even trying.

So Kellyanne Conway's decision to make up a fake news story to prove a point about refugees was completely unacceptable. A quick google search of 'Bowling Green Massacre' would have brought up countless pages saying 'this event never happened'.

All of which begs the question: why stop there? If Conway wants to start inventing fake news, she can go way more porky-tastic than simply making up a massacre.

We love laughing at Donald Trump as much as the next man (and the man next to us is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger) so we've come up with a few 'fake news' stories that would ensure some serious mirth and japery were Donald or his Trumpeteers ever to use them.

One thing, though, Don and Kell: if you want to use any of these stories, please don't give us a credit.

1. Climate change began as an SNL sketch

Climate change originally started as a sketch on the TV show Saturday Night Live. However it slowly starting seeping into the minds of the liberal-minded dullards who watch the show, who started to believe it was a real thing.

2. There are actually 13 commandments

There are actually more than Ten Commandments. There are thirteen in total. The three that aren’t normally mentioned are:

·        Thou shalt not fraternise with Muslims

·        Respect thy brother’s and sister’s privacy of taxation matters.

·        Thy is gonna be great. The greatest there is.

3. Orange is the strongest colour there is.

Orange is the single strongest colour there is. That’s why we should worship Donald Trump. He is so strong he is able to crush a man’s skull with his hands. The US government had his hand size chemically reduced as he was considered a national threat.

4. ObamaCare was a front to inject Islam conversion serum.

Once he got into the Oval Office, Donald Trump found a number of confidential documents that Barack Obama had accidentally left behind.

It revealed that ObamaCare was just a front to vaccinate the American population with a serum that would make them want to convert to Islam.

5. Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump had an arm wrestling match that levelled a building.

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump once took part in an arm wrestling match that ended in a draw. The match went on for 10 hours, completely level for the whole time. The power that was involved in the arm wrestle was so strong and intense that the building they were in crumbled.

6. Mexico schools teach crime as a class.

In schools in Mexico, they actually teach how to commit crime as a class. Other classes including guacamole making, wall-jumping and sombrero wearing.