A Frenchman who threw wedges of Camembert at Waitrose staff is wanted by police after he failed to show up for sentencing.
Bernard Conche, 67, hurled cheese at manager Kimberly Taynor after he was asked to leave the store in Chelsea last November.
But that has resulted in fears the popular sandwich filling could be used as a weapon by disgruntled shoppers.
That prompted Jon Holmes to call on defence analyst Charles Hayman to discuss the potential dairy dangers.
Hayman said: "This is something we've been expecting for a long time and it's really serious. We've known for a long time that various people are going to move into our supermarkets and start tossing cheese around to try and affect lactose-intolerant people."
Hayman then told listeners how you go about weaponising cheese.
"It's the smell," he added, "People just become totally overcome by it. And A&E will be completely overrun, with the doctors going on strike. The whole place is going to fall apart, and something has got to be done."