If you thought the Soviet Union's feared Pravda newspaper was bad, you should check out the sort of articles that pass for hard-hitting news in North Korea.
While their British and American counterparts hammer Theresa May and Donald Trump on a daily basis, the Korean Central News Agency is forbidden from saying anything bad about Kim Jong-un. In fact, it regularly produces claims about the Pyongyang dictator which are, well, utterly ridiculous.
Take the latest news that Kim can control the weather. You might think this was a piece of satire, but now, the KCNA claims Kim can "control the nature". You might think he'd have made greater use of this power by now, perhaps to, I dunno, unleash a tsunami on the USA. But no, it appears he uses this divine ability responsibily, so good for him.
As it turns out, North Korea's propag... sorry, news outlets produce such flights of fantasy on a regular basis. Just look at some of the other ridiculous claims that have been made about Kim over recent years.
Just last year the North Korean leader claimed his country has found the cure to Aids, as well as ebola and even cancer. Apparently the injection is made up of ginseng grown from fertiliser and other ingredients that it has not revealed, apart from saying they are "rare earth elements." Obviously this story was printed as fact.
You might think if you pass your driving test at the age of 17 that you're a pretty young driver, but not quite as young as Kim Jong-un when he was first able to drive. North Korean media states that he could drive from the age of three and not only that but this so-called fact is being taught in schools. We're not sure how he would have been able to reach the pedals, but apparently he could.
Schools, which have an entire subject dedicated to the leader, also teach that he won a yacht race at the age of nine. This was supposedly against the [presumably snooty] chief executive of a foreign yacht company who was at the time visiting the country, other than that there seems to be little other detail, aside from him winning “despite the odds." Sounds like a classic Hollywood sports movie...
Music and art
It is also claimed that Kim Jong-un is a skilled artist and musical score composer, and again this is taught in schools. This fact is a lot more believable as it is possible, but at the same time have you ever seen his art or head his music? We don't know if this one is true, but it's nice to think he has a hobby outside of plotting purges and hurly potty-mouthed insults at Donald Trump.
Turning back time
Some reports claim North Korea believed Japan managed to steal time from the country when it under Japanese rule, so Kim Jong-un decided North Korea would have its own time zone that was different to Japan and South Korea in order to gain this back in 2015.
Other reports say he wanted to change the time to mark the 70th anniversary of the defeat of Japan in the Second World War, but whichever side was reported in North Korea, he did set the clocks back by half an hour, meaning North Korea is eight and a half hours ahead of GMT.
Eleven holes in one
Ok, this 'feat' actually belongs to Kim's father Kim Il-sung, rather than the current leader. But we had to throw it in there as it's just too brilliant.
The story goes that, on Pyongyang Golf Course, Kim the Previous "scored 11 holes-in-one in his first-ever and only ever round."
Presumably Tiger Woods, Nick Faldo and the rest felt slightly sheepish when they heard that this complete rookie had completely outdone them, rendering their years of practice completely worthless. One assumes that he passed it down to his son Kim Jong-un, along all his other amazing talents.
Unfortunately Kim Il-sung never deigned to show us his mastery in one of the Majors. Modesty was always one of his most famous virtues (alongside cunning, vindictiveness and a complete lack of compassion, obviously).