A young Conservative has produced a guide on how to be a Tory at university - and not annoy people.
Christian Calgie says it is possible to have an easy life as a right-wing graduate by following his simple rules on what not to say, do or wear.
He says it is a case of sticking to guidelines such as respect equal rights, don't try to be a comedian, 'wear normal clothes', and 'get with the times'.
Mr Calgie, the editor of student news site Hull Tab, has titled his guide: 'It’s actually really easy to be a Tory at uni: Just don’t be a tw*t'.
The guide warns against stupid pranks after a notorious stunt pulled by a Cambridge University student, which saw a £20 note burnt in front of a homeless man.
'I even respect women'
Christian Calgie describes himself as a 'Mayite'.
Mr Calgie, 21, from north Yorkshire, writes: “Almost every day I see Tories whining about how difficult it is for them at university.
''Ranging from "limits on my free speech" to "lefty protesters interrupting our port and policy evening", the stories of Conservative oppression at university really do put Sisyphus' troubles into perspective.
“Some young Tories have even claimed "it’s easier to be gay than a Tory at university these days".
''Well, as a massive Tory and an even bigger gay, I’m delighted to bring to you the authoritative guide of how to be a Tory at university.”
In strong words to fellow grass-root Conservatives, he continued: “I myself have become a lot more bearable in my time at uni – not my opinion, but the view of most of my lefty friends. I believe food banks aren’t great, I support trans-rights; I even respect women!
“Now, I appreciate these concepts can be quite alien to some young Tories, so let me guide you along the path of… well, not quite righteousness, but at the very least how not to be an insufferable t***er.”
He added: “Tories are supposed to be patriotic, so get onboard with the nation's favourite past-time: self-deprecation.”
'Being controversial is not a sense of humour'
Christian Calgie posing by a 'Corbyn Street' sign, with a sticker saying 'burn the Tories'. Image: James Gant/SWNS.
Mr Calgie, who dubs himself a ‘Mayite’, also touched on the relationship between student Tories and women.
The young Conservative, who is doing a British politics and legislative studies degree at Hull University, stressed that women are not interested in debating government policies on nights out.
He posted: “News flash: most students do not give a s*** about the merits of a Brexit backstop or about no-platforming. Learn how to spot when people are up for a debate vs when people just want to talk about the latest episode of I’m a Celeb.
“You can say "feminism is cancer" all you want — you can even claim you’re being entirely ironic—but don't hold out for a stint on Live at the Apollo.
“Being controversial is not a sense of humour. Joking about how you hate yourself and quoting four year-old Vines—now that’s humour, my friend.”
Lastly, he told Conservative readers to “get with the times”.
“Stop caring about people’s gender, appreciate that rape culture is a thing and that BAME people are unfairly discriminated against by the justice system. Most of your uni mates will judge you more for your social views than whether DEFRA should ban plastic straws,” he said.
“Not only will getting onboard with the times help you make friends, but you may as well aim to be on the right side of history.”